Walking on Water...

Matthew 14
Jesus Walks on Water
22 Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. 23 After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone.

24 Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. 25 About three o’clock in the morning[b] Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”

27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here![c]”

28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”

29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.

So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong[d] wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”

32 When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. 33 Then the disciples worshiped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.


Just today, I'm realizing that the trials of the last year or so have been like this in my life...
The storm around me was all His doing, with Him walking toward me, reaching out His hand to draw me closer...to trust explicitly in His ability to carry me through.

The struggle with letting go...of watching my son fighting for independence...the battle within myself to let Him be my cheerleader and support...trusting Him for financial provision...trusting Him with my life...letting go of all of the things that I've held onto, these things that have been my boat, my safety, my support. He has stripped them away. Tonight as I was laying in bed, I felt like there was nothing under me, like I'd stepped of the ledge with nothing under my feet. Then He reminded me of this Scripture, of His hand reaching for me--to help me, to lead me, to hold me, to show me the way.

All of the things that I used for strength and comfort are gone...who I thought I was, what I dreamed of doing, how my life would look, my trusting in my abilities. I feel empty, desperate...like crying til there are no more tears. And in this moment, I don't know which way to go...what to say...what to do, but to look up and say "help me" and trust.

I have to believe...that His promises will come...that He knows what will happen...that He loves me...that He will help me...that He alone is my hope, my strength, my future...that what I see is so limited...that there is a purpose in even this.

I know He spoke to me and called me to this place. Why do I doubt in this moment what He's working?